Songs and Ballads for the People, by J.M. Neale (1843)

Songs and Ballads for the People

By the Rev. John Mason Neale

London: James Burns, 1843.

XII. Why are you a Dissenter?

Come, listen to me, neighbours! And I’ll tell you of the way Dissenters set about it When they make a grand display: And when my story’s finish’d, I’ll be vastly well content, If you will but be persuaded To fly from all dissent.

A man is disappointed Of a pew he wants, or so; “If this must be the way,” says he, “To church I’ll never go: The Parson tried to spite me, And so I’m fully bent That I will spite the Parson By setting up dissent.”

He looks about for converts; And so with much ado, And perhaps a little money, He picks up one or two: They were always noted grumblers, And to church they never went; For that’s the sort of people That are readiest for dissent.

There are two or three who join them, And readily come in, Because the Parson told them They were living on in sin: They take the thing in dudgeon, And so are well content— For teachers dare not blame them, Who live by their dissent.

They get a famous preacher, Who comes in haste from Town, Lest what he calls the int’rest Of Dissenters should go down: They pay him for his sermon, But the money’s only lent; For it brings them a collection In aid of their dissent.

He praises all they’re doing; But thinks it a disgrace They’ve so poor a room for preaching,— They should build a better place. An Ebenezer Chapel Would be just the thing he meant; So very grand, and useful In helping on dissent.

With driving and with scraping, And with screwing from the poor, (They spare their own dear pockets), They get a little store; But before the meeting’s finished, The money’s gone and spent; And they find that it’s expensive To set on foot dissent.

But they raise a mighty clamour, And they try to blind men’s eyes With tales about the Parsons, And half a score such lies: To be sure it looks like sinning, But they say it’s all well meant; And without a little falsehood, Who could hope to teach dissent?

And when it’s done, what follows? Why morning, noon, and night, There’s quarrelling and brawling, Who’s wrong and who is right: Sedition and rebellion Find a very easy vent; And farewell to peace and order In the place that has dissent!